This blog was written during the Scottish referendum. Also see Dear UK love from Ireland
The British Isles happy family
Ireland (the errant father): Irresponsible, prone to self-delusion and drinks too much. Ran off abandoning England some time ago and started drifting into the Atlantic. His superego is trying hard to pull him North East towards Scandinavia to realize his inner über-cool, what with his Viking past and all that. But his id tells him that he is a hot-blooded Latin type that was accidentally stuck in Northern Europe and that he must move to his natural locale down on the med in Spain. However his ego is motoring him determinedly towards Boston, fuelled by a burst of hot air that came shooting out of a gigantic house sized balloon in 2008. He was last seen crying into a pint somewhere in the mid Atlantic. However, the trade winds will keep blowing him back (with Sisyphean predictability) into the embrace of his former lover England.
England (the responsible mother): Like all mothers very responsible and caring in her duties to her three children. Was sad to let Ireland go (even though she did get to keep their son in the separation agreement). She’ll always keep a special place for Ireland in her heart but she knows, deep down, that she had been a bit of a control freak as far as he was concerned. Once he’d left she took charge of the child they shared and set up house with her other two children. As grown-ups she’s finding them painfully expensive and wishes they were a bit more grateful. Don’t they get it? She is the mothership!
Northern Ireland: Serious. A bit tortured. Traumatised by his parents’ bickering. He never fully got over their separation. One part of him wants to go and live with his father, Ireland, but since he went off flirting with Europe (he even moved in and got married for God’s sake!) that was never going to be on the cards. Another part of him wants to stay with his mother. She never lets him down and loves him unconditionally, but she is very controlling which he hates. He could go it alone and move out from his mother’s place, but that’s pretty scary. No-one understands him.
Wales: Flies under the radar – typical middle child. You have to watch out for the quiet ones. He’s very creative underneath the quiet front and has a surprisingly good singing voice. He’s taken up the caring role in his troubled family and in adult accepting style won’t rock the boat – he just wants peace in the family and can’t see why they don’t all get along. You get the feeling though that he is a bit like a sleeping dragon - if you prodded him too hard he might get very angry, breathe fire and find another family to hang out with. He sometimes speaks in a strange tongue with multiple consonants and glottal stops – but this is part of his attraction.
Scotland: The loved youngest in the family so she gets away with murder. The others would never have been allowed to give their parents such cheek. Stays out late, is always threatening to move out and sometimes gives her mother the two fingers behind her back. The rest of the family secretly enjoy her wild side, thinking they are really like that too but have to act more responsibly as older siblings. She’s always laughing and great at a party. If there is any flaw it’s that she can be a bit tight; and she can also play very hard to get: there are some amazing bits of her that only a persistent few have ever seen.
© Alison Hackett 13 Sept 2014
Ireland (the errant father): Irresponsible, prone to self-delusion and drinks too much. Ran off abandoning England some time ago and started drifting into the Atlantic. His superego is trying hard to pull him North East towards Scandinavia to realize his inner über-cool, what with his Viking past and all that. But his id tells him that he is a hot-blooded Latin type that was accidentally stuck in Northern Europe and that he must move to his natural locale down on the med in Spain. However his ego is motoring him determinedly towards Boston, fuelled by a burst of hot air that came shooting out of a gigantic house sized balloon in 2008. He was last seen crying into a pint somewhere in the mid Atlantic. However, the trade winds will keep blowing him back (with Sisyphean predictability) into the embrace of his former lover England.
England (the responsible mother): Like all mothers very responsible and caring in her duties to her three children. Was sad to let Ireland go (even though she did get to keep their son in the separation agreement). She’ll always keep a special place for Ireland in her heart but she knows, deep down, that she had been a bit of a control freak as far as he was concerned. Once he’d left she took charge of the child they shared and set up house with her other two children. As grown-ups she’s finding them painfully expensive and wishes they were a bit more grateful. Don’t they get it? She is the mothership!
Northern Ireland: Serious. A bit tortured. Traumatised by his parents’ bickering. He never fully got over their separation. One part of him wants to go and live with his father, Ireland, but since he went off flirting with Europe (he even moved in and got married for God’s sake!) that was never going to be on the cards. Another part of him wants to stay with his mother. She never lets him down and loves him unconditionally, but she is very controlling which he hates. He could go it alone and move out from his mother’s place, but that’s pretty scary. No-one understands him.
Wales: Flies under the radar – typical middle child. You have to watch out for the quiet ones. He’s very creative underneath the quiet front and has a surprisingly good singing voice. He’s taken up the caring role in his troubled family and in adult accepting style won’t rock the boat – he just wants peace in the family and can’t see why they don’t all get along. You get the feeling though that he is a bit like a sleeping dragon - if you prodded him too hard he might get very angry, breathe fire and find another family to hang out with. He sometimes speaks in a strange tongue with multiple consonants and glottal stops – but this is part of his attraction.
Scotland: The loved youngest in the family so she gets away with murder. The others would never have been allowed to give their parents such cheek. Stays out late, is always threatening to move out and sometimes gives her mother the two fingers behind her back. The rest of the family secretly enjoy her wild side, thinking they are really like that too but have to act more responsibly as older siblings. She’s always laughing and great at a party. If there is any flaw it’s that she can be a bit tight; and she can also play very hard to get: there are some amazing bits of her that only a persistent few have ever seen.
© Alison Hackett 13 Sept 2014